The Monday Drive

It's been one of those days. The knots in my stomach forced me to go for a drive today, ended up at Settlers Cove. It must have been a (-) tide because it was further out then I have ever seen it. Because of my mood I threw caution to the wind and walked all the way out to the edge of the water. Standing there with muddy sneakers I wondered if a tsunami was headed my way, hopefully that thought is not symbolic of my approaching week. I remember seeing on CNN a guy walking out toward the water...not knowing the tsunami was about to overtake him, what a horrible image that was. As I was standing in the soft mud it came to me that when the tide goes out... I mean way out... past the first row of rock... the ones we are always afraid of when swimming... past those rocks... when the tide goes way out we finally get to see what the ocean floor really looks like. The ocean floor where I was at was super soft. The sea floor was incredibly soft. It was quite an experience walking on such the soft floor. Because I'm wierd my mind wandered to what the analogy would be concerning this, I'm stricken with this kind of thinking often.

When the tide goes WAY out in my life, when things don't seem to be adding up in my favor, when the (-)'s strip away all the facades and masks and glimmer of the surface, I hope my core is as soft as my experience of the ocean floor today. If my soul could be that soft then I believe He would be pleased. I guess I realized the issues that drove me to the cove today, eventhough I wished they would vanish can still be used to keep me soft before my God. That is if I choose to take that drive. I believe God wants me to take those drives more often then I do. I think the more I do the fewer knots there will be.

The Tower to Bodie

As Bodie flounders in the background, the three king's enjoy their castle... until little brother comes around the corner.

Reflective Nerf Balls

Got back from a trip up north on Monday. It was a good trip, I went with two other pastors and two of their friends. Made a two day stop in Juneau, then on to Anchorage, Eagle River, Wasilla, and Trapper Creek (close to Talkeetna). It was really strange to be back in Anchorage after all this time. The last time I was there was when I was in the fifth grade. It's funny the things you remember from your elementary days... street names, building signs, and the overall feel. It still felt the same. It even smelled the same as I remember. I was a hoping to go back to where I use to live, to see if things were the same there too, but not being a dependant any longer I knew i could not get on base. Everything seemed so much smaller then what i remember too; I am sure that is because I am so much bigger now, maybe a little too big.

I was gone for five days on this trip. It was good to be away, i was able to do a lot of thinking and reading. After three days i began to miss the comforts of home, especially the bathroom. Sharing a bathroom with four other guys can be interesting. I tried something different each night. I decided to take a few minutes before bed to write down the things I learned, or the things that stood out to me during the day. It is amazing what a little reflection will bring up. I learned that if I don't intentionally think about what i can take away from each day, I don't learn anything. Only with quiet reflection does my learning process kick in. I now wonder how much I miss each day when i don't reflect... tons...too much. I am going to try to practice the discipline of reflection a bit more each day.

Our days are so full of rich texture and meaning, we just need to take time to see it.

So, what's my take away from today? I enjoy when other people's faith is stronger than my own. This is something i witnessed tonight. It is refreshing when others begin to carry the ball ahead of me... and beside me. Thinking I need to be strong all the time just wears me out and makes for a miserable day. I also learned why nerf balls are the best! Great simple fun without any broken lamps.